Muscles and Power Tools Metaphors

We would all like to increase pleasure and decrease pain. But the truth is, pain, or discomfort is often associated with positive change.  The muscle metaphor is a classic example to use here.  In order for the muscle to grow, it needs to be put under stress. We also know that too much stress - and we get injured, not enough and we don’t grow. Throw in ideas of proper form and technique, motivation, supplementation, rest and recovery, and we have a nuanced metaphor for growing our strength, resiliency, competency, and anti-fragility in the emotional realm.

Emotions are not neutral - they are either helping or hindering us.  They “get in the way” when we are avoiding or over-endulging in them. They are powerful tools, like power tools are, when we are practiced, trained, and know how to use them. 

Idk about you, but I wished my parents, teachers, coaches, friends, society, etc. better taught me how to use power tools. But that was then, and right now.  I can’t do anything about the actions of others in the past that have had an impact on me, but I do have autonomy and agency in the present moment; for example, I have the option of taking a shop class. I don't want to cut my arm off but I need hands-on experience.  It can’t be stressing-me-out difficult, or boring. It needs to be an engaging, and at-times, an enjoyable Wednesday night away from the house playing with power tools. 

I look for the same things in a therapist or men’s group, just add some stigma. It happens all the time - our desire for growth, change, success, and freedom seems to be at odds with our “ick” around words like assistance, support and emotions.  We try to “fix” ourselves on our own. We have all tried to do it alone.  It’s one of the hallmarks of a simplistic interpretation of what it means to be masculine.  

We have done a lot to destigmatize therapeutic support as weakness.  But we have a long way to go to recognize the strength and courage necessary to be real (dead-ass honest and authentic) with other humans with the shared purpose of examining and evolving our relationships with our work, the humans we love, and who we see in the mirror. 

Most of our goals in life are emotional - I want to feel financially secure, I want to feel successful in my career, I want to feel desired or admired by my significant other, I want to feel a certain way about myself when I look in the mirror. It’s about that time (with 2025 around the corner) that some of us commit, recommit, or double down on building our skills, strength, and anti-fragility in the emotional gym. 

I invite you to schedule a discovery call with Wilson or myself to discuss if our upcoming men’s group could be a good fit for you.